You are unique in your own way. It started for me when I was in my primary school. It was a trend to be part of the most happening group. Every other girl wanted to be liked by this group and wanted them to acknowledge them so that they feel accepted in the society.
I was part of this group. We were happening in our way and were known to be the naughtiest girls in the town. But for me, it was important to have my own identity and individuality. I did not want to be recognised as the “GnG” as we called ourselves in school. I was found of my girls but there was something more important to me.
And that was “Me”. I decided to be part of social club and sports team where I could build my confidence and explore myself in a peculiar way. I participated in mostly all annual functions and was a sports captain of my school.
It did give me a chance to interact with others and see how they treat me as an individual and not as a part of happening group. At that age, it was considered to be cool if you are in known group but for me it was finding myself.
Later when I joined college, things changed completely for me. I was from co -ed school and connected with boys more but weirdly I landed up in all girls’ college. Again the process of being liked by happening group started and infact this time it was aggrandized.
I just could not connect with most of them. In college, emphasis was given to how you talk, how you dress up, whom do you talk to more, what vehicle you drive? I was astounded to see as how these things were considered crucial for any kind of friendship.
But I started questioning myself, is that all you need to be someone’s friend. I had to stay away from college politics. So I joined western dance society and was recognised as a good dancer. I had my own fan following in college because of my dancing skills. I made some like-minded friends in my dance team and had a best time of my life.
Stories from my school and college had some influence on me and I want others to relate and think what matters to them.
· Learn to love yourself first, but not at the point of being conceited
· Love everything about you
· It’s often difficult to get others to like you, when you despise your own character and features about yourself.
· Try to communicate more with people you see in your vicinity. It will help you open up more and build in your confidence
· After opening up with others, you will feel much better about yourself and others will see you as a natural person.
The story does not end here. These were my growing up days. Next phase of my life started when I joined work. It was like rowing the boat in sturdy water. It was a new corporate life with defined dimensions. Initially I was quite apprehensive to try out unique ways but slowly I adapted myself to the environment. The more I got to know the people, the more it became difficult for me.
I saw everyone trying hard to impress their colleagues, seniors, managers or peers. And suddenly the same question popped up in my mind. Why? Is it so crucial for them to be accepted in this environment.
You are losing your own self while trying to influence others. If you have confidence and belief in yourself, everyone or anyone will like you. It’s a taboo, you have to be liked by others to survive in this society. I totally disagree with this concept. Often enough, we find ourselves in which we are intimated by people who we feel are either overly well-presented or simply better than us.
Sometime, this may lead a person to think they aren’t good enough. This is only true to a certain extent: after all , there is always room for improvement and nobody’s perfect.
Steps you can follow to learn to be yourself:
1. Accept who YOU are – If you learn to accept who you are, you will be the most content and happy person. You may not be beautiful, charming or intelligent person. But you are what it makes “YOU”. At the end of the day, what matters is what you think of yourself. If you are okay with yourself and you have given your best in your entire task. Then there is nothing to worry.
2. Find yourself – You cannot be yourself if you don’t know, understand and accept yourself first. Find time to dwell on what you value and makes up essence of who you are. Try to think what kinds of things you like or dislike. Spend some time with yourself and your passion’s in life.
3. Build your self-confidence – Once you accept yourself and find yourself. It will be easier to build your confidence. When we know what you want from yourselves and what is it you desire, all your senses will work towards its achievement leading to confidence in yourself. Always be aware of what you are good at and strive to improve what you feeling needs work.
4. Stop caring how people perceive you - If you respect yourself, people around you will also reciprocate the same way. Most of us, get drained thinking about what other think of us or perceive us. All those who matter the most will care for you irrespective of changes. Bring in all positivity and don’t let external factors affect you. What you can achieve with your confidence and belief other may find it difficult to try. In other words, be strong in your character and others can never pin you down.
5. Work on your sensitive nature – If you perceive yourself as being overly sensitive to criticism, then make an attempt to change your reactions to comments and events. This is achievable by simply reminding you that this is an opinion of another imperfect human being.
Oscar Wide once said : ‘ Be Yourself, Everyone else is already taken’. As humorous as it may seem, it’s a basic summation of the truth. Everyone is unique in his way. We just need to look for the things which make us complete, content and happy.
There may be lots of hurdles in life, people will come and go. Do not to change for anyone. Focus on learning from your mistakes and laugh at your imperfections. Keep a very positive attitude for everything around and distance yourself from negativity. Glorify the sunset or lose yourself in beautiful thoughts. This will keep you strong and sturdy in all phases of your life.
One of the biggest lessons you can get from life is to “LET GO” of things you can’t control. The next time you are tempted to rant about a situation, think wisely before reacting. Is it worth all that frustration and enrage.
Let someone love you just the way you are – as flawed as you might, be as unattractive as you’re, and as accomplished as you think you are. Yes, let someone love you despite all this, and let that someone be “YOU”.
You were born to be real, not to be perfect. You are here to be YOU, not to be someone else wants you to be. Stand up for yourself , look them in their eyes, and say
“ DON’T JUDGE UNTIL YOU KNOW ME, DON’T UNDERESTIMATE ME UNTIL YOU CHALLENGE ME AND DON’T TALK ABOUT ME UNTIL YOU HAVE‘VE TALKED TO ME”
Strength shows the ability to hold on and believing in oneself. It’s never too late to become what you might have been. Keep learning, exploring, adapting and growing . You might not be there yet but you are closer than yesterday.
